I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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