so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
