Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
