Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
