I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
