Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
