Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
In America we eat man semen.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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