So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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