Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
