dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
