Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
