He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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