Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
