brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
