The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
