My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
