i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize