I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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