We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
