Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
handjob tips. give me some.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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