I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
