It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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