thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
