We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
