Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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