I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
