She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize