Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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