Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
