part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize