I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
