News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
