she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
