Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
