I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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