DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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