No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
