Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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