I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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