apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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