brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I looked at my own cervix.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize