wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize