glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
