I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They took my balls.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
