chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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