apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
