actually, I'm a sock model
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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