i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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