He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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