Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
