a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
