So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
