Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry batmanlololol hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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(716): View more from New York

You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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(707): View more from California

I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.

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(310): View more from California

How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?

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