And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
