just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm passing your future prison.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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