He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
