Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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