Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
