She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize