I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
