Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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