My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
